I Loved Her First
by RowArk
Summary: AU/Canon Divergent Swan Queen, wherein Regina had a baby before destroying the curse to save SB from Pan's curse. She gives Emma new memories AND her baby, and once she makes it back she searches for Emma and the daughter she lost. Unfortunately, Emma doesn't remember anything and Regina has no memory potion, so she needs to find another way into Emma's (and her children's) lives.
1. Chapter 1

**I Loved Her First**

By RowArk

* * *

 **Chapter One**

* * *

Of course it would happen this way. That was just the way fate worked for her, it seemed.

Of course the infertility potion she'd drunk in the Enchanted Forest had been rendered ineffective in a world without magic, and _of course_ it never mattered until Emma Swan showed up and time started moving forward and so did Regina's cycle, _apparently._

Emma _fucking_ Swan. It always had to come back to her, didn't it?

Because of course Regina would never have attributed any of her symptoms that began to arise shortly after the Savior/Sheriff/bane-of-her-life arrived in Storybrooke to _pregnancy_ of all things. Why would she? If she'd had _any_ inkling that it was even a remote possibility, whatsoever, she certainly wouldn't have crushed Graham's heart and rendered her unborn child fatherless.

Of course, even _that_ wouldn't have ever been necessary if Emma could have left well enough alone.

But no, Emma couldn't leave anything alone, and yes, Regina was pregnant. Her pregnancy had left her more vulnerable when her mother showed up out of the blue, and much, _much_ more emotionally destroyed when her mother was subsequently _murdered_ at her own hands, at the will of her mortal enemy.

But, at least fate had smiled on her _one_ time, and her unborn child miraculously survived electrocution by proxy as Regina was tortured at the hands of Greg Mendell. Things seemed to be looking up, for a singular shining moment, until Greg and Tamara abducted Henry and Regina was rudely reminded that nothing good ever lasts for her.

And of course she had been too pregnant to make the trip to Neverland.

 _It's too dangerous,_ Emma had said.

 _I got this. You need to think about the baby._

 _Regina, I can do this._

And she did it, afterall.

Well, save for the pesky issue of bring Pan back with her in Henry's body and thus putting Storybrooke in a state of emergency, yet again.

But this time, Emma couldn't fix it. Regina had to.

But, _of course_ , Regina went into labour early and delivered her healthy, beautiful baby girl before she could destroy the curse and stop Pan.

And now she didn't just have to lose Henry.

She had to lose Kate as well.

Because they were both born here, and she couldn't bring either one with her. Fuck fate.

She'd deliberated on the name for months, and had ultimately gone with Kate - not Kathryn, just Kate - because it was simple. It was simple and sweet and carried no expectation. Kates don't have to become Queen. Kates don't have to do anything but be themselves, happy and free.

Kate was a good name.

It didn't occur to her that it rhymed with _fate_ until much, much later.

And it killed Regina that that was all she'd be able to give her baby girl, a name, as she placed the tiny infant in Emma's arms.

She gave Kate a name and she gave Emma and Henry new memories - good memories - because it was all she could do to make _anything_ right.

But it would never be right. Not like this.

Emma cried as she strapped the infant into the carseat in the back of the Bug. Emma cried and Regina relived every moment leading up to this one, thinking of every little thing she could have done differently.

But this was her price to pay, she supposed. She'd cast the curse, she'd killed Owen's father, she hadn't gone to Neverland - if she had, she was sure she could have stopped Pan from coming with them.

Couldn't she have?

It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered but the yellow Bug disappearing into the distance as she crumpled the curse and destroyed the town she'd created.

Everything went back to how it was, and nothing would never be the same.

* * *

 **Four Years Later**

* * *

Four years. That's how long it had taken to get back from the Enchanted Forest.

Four years is a long time.

Four years was long enough for the Charmings to produce two more little spawn, and Regina had to wonder if Snow was just rubbing it in her face at this point. Not that she could blame her. She probably would have done the same.

Four years was not, however, long enough for Regina to forget what she'd lost, and the moment she awoke in Storybrooke again, it hurt just as bad as the day she'd sent them back.

Scratch that. It was worse - much worse - to be in Storybrooke without her children than it was to be alone in the Enchanted Forest.

Henry would be fifteen now. Kate would be four, and Regina didn't even know what she _looked_ like. She never knew anything could hurt this bad.

Of course, the first thing she did was look Emma up in New York City. And of course Emma had moved. And she hadn't left a forwarding address. Did people even do that anymore?

Regina lamented her own natural protectiveness, in that she'd added a little something to Emma's memories, and caused her to 'remember' that she was the type of person to live privately. Unlisted numbers. No social media. Regina had meant for it to be harder for anyone - or anything - that might threaten her children to find them.

She'd never expected it would be this hard for _her_ to find them.

But she had a saving grace: _she_ could leave Storybrooke. She was the only one, and she wasted no time packing up her Mercedes and taking off. She'd search every home in America if that's what it took.

Suddenly she had a whole new appreciation for how difficult finding people actually was.

How the hell did Emma do this?

* * *

 **One Year Later**

* * *

After a year of never staying in one place for any length of time, Regina found herself living in Tallahassee. She never had really learned what this city's appeal was for Emma, but she'd tried every other place on the extensive list of places Emma had lived in the past, because she didn't really know any other way to track her.

Apparently fate resides in Tallahassee.

"Momma?"

Regina turned, almost on instinct, at the sound of a terrified little voice behind her. There stood a little girl, about four or five, with long dark curls pulled into a ponytail and wide, brown eyes scanning the grocery store aisle in a panic.

Regina glanced around, seeing only single men and teenagers in the immediate vicinity and took a wild guess that this little one's mother was not there.

"Sweetie, are you lost?" Regina asked, stepping up to the girl and crouching down to meet her at eye level.

"I'm not 'upposed to talk to strangers," the girl mumbled, her bottom lip protruding in a little pout.

"Oh, I see. That's very smart, but you also need to find your Momma. Do you remember where you saw her last?"

The little girl shrugged.

Apparently she was serious about this not talking to strangers thing.

"Okay, well did you know that grocery stores can page people? Why don't you follow me up to the front and we'll get them to call your Momma?"

The little girl shifted her weight back and forth between her feet, apparently weighing her options, before finally nodding.

Regina smiled. "Alright, follow me this way," she said, resisting the urge to reach for the girl's hand. "Just tell me your Momma's name, alright? So I can ask them to call her."

"Her name is Emma Swan."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

* * *

Regina's heart skipped a beat. There was no way she heard that right. Despite the fact that she had been _searching_ for Emma for nearly a year, the idea that she would just randomly find her in some grocery store when she'd only came in for bread made absolutely no sense.

Fate didn't work like that for her.

Not when she was planning on leaving Tallahassee in two days, because the search here had been fruitless thus far and it was time to move on.

No. Emma Swan was _not_ here. She had looked.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, what did you say?" Regina asked, expecting her to come out with ' _my mom's name is Jane Smith'_ , just to prove that Regina really was losing it and her emotions were overtaking her rational brain. Such was to be expected when one spends this much time on the move, without ever gaining an inch of traction.

The little girl just smiled. "Everyone thinks it's a funny name, _Swan_. Emma Swan. I'm telling the truth. My name's Kate." The child blanched the moment the words left her mouth. "Uh oh. I'm not 'upposed to tell my name to strangers."

Regina was too dumbfounded to speak. _This_ was Kate. _This_ little girl was her daughter. Her heart had stopped at every single dark-haired little girl she'd seen in the past year, too many to count, but none had been her. And now, here she was.

"Are you okay?" Kate stared up at her, incredulously, furrowing her brow in an oh-so-typical Emma Swan way. Henry may have Emma's genetics, but his mannerisms were all Regina, she knew this much. She guessed the opposite was true for Kate.

Kate.

 _Her_ Kate.

"Sorry, sweetie, I was just… distracted. I won't tell your Momma you told me your name," Regina forced herself to say. She needed to act natural, before she terrified the girl.

"It's not nice to lie," Kate scolded, as they resumed walking up to the front of the store.

"You're right, it's not. Your mother taught you well. I can tell."

Kate beamed at the compliment as they reached the front of the store and Regina relayed the story to a cashier, requesting that they make an announcement for Emma Swan over the speaker system.

The cashier eyed her suspiciously for a moment, and Regina had to wonder if she was taking stock of the fact that this little girl looked just like her, and yet she was asking her to page a mother that was _not_ her.

Regina's heart pounded in her chest as the cashier made the announcement. Her dark eyes scanned the aisles in front of them, eager to catch a glimpse of the blonde she hadn't seen in five years.

If this moment weren't so emotionally charged, Regina would have to laugh at the thought that she was actually excited to see Emma. How preposterous.

But where there was Emma, there was Henry. Perhaps he was even with her now. Regina bit her lip, trying to quell her nerves.

Moments later, she saw her. Emma was alone, looking panicked, as she made a bee-line straight for Kate, without so much as a glance at Regina.

 _Of course_ , Regina mused, Emma didn't know her anymore. If she remembered correctly, she initially hadn't noticed Emma standing there that fateful night that Henry had brought her back from Boston. Regina was honed in solely on her son, just as Emma was on Kate now.

Of course she was. As far as either of them knew, Kate was her daughter, and Emma was a terrified mother.

Emma wasted no time scooping Kate up in her arms and hugging her tightly to her. "Baby! Are you okay?"

Regina watched, agape, not sure what she was supposed to do now, as Kate looked at Emma and nodded, solemnly.

"I just wanted to get Oreos," Kate admitted, looking at Emma sheepishly.

"Katey, you know you can't just wander off in a store! You scared me so much... someone could have taken you!"

Regina couldn't help the frown that was forming on her face. She didn't really believe in telling a child - _her child_ no less - that they might be kidnapped in order to make them behave, but then again, Emma was living in the real world without the protection of Storybrooke, and child abduction was a very real thing here. No wonder she'd taught Kate not to talk to strangers.

Regina supposed she should be grateful, even if the fearful look on her little girl's face was breaking her heart.

"I'm sorry Momma," Kate said, with a pout. "I don't want to get taken away! But a nice lady helped me find you!"

Emma's gaze followed Kate's finger as she pointed in Regina's direction, and the two women made eye contact for the first time since that fateful day five years ago. Regina's heart stopped all over again as Emma's face formed a grateful smile. She looked just as she did the moment Henry had told her that Regina had saved her and Mary Margaret when they'd come through the well from the Enchanted Forest: pure, unadulterated gratitude.

And Regina was rendered at a complete loss for words.

Her eyes shifted back to Kate's smiling face as Emma took a few steps closer, still holding Kate tightly on her hip.

"Thank you so much," Emma said, saving Regina from having to speak first, when she was sure she couldn't even form words from the pure shock she was feeling at the moment. "I've told her a million times not to take off, but… she's got a mind of her own, this one. Free spirit, or something. She always finds a way to get what she wants."

"Just like you," Regina said, before she could stop herself. She noted the instant look of confusion on Emma's face and quickly attempted to cover for her slip-up. "I mean, I can only assume. I can already from this short meeting she takes after a lot of your mannerisms. She seems like a great kid. You should be proud."

Emma grinned widely and nodded. "Oh, she is! Keeps me on my toes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm Emma, by the way… but I guess you already know that, since you had them page me."

Regina smiled, relieved that Emma had bought her cover up. She couldn't very well spring the ' _actually she's really MY daughter'_ card on her in the middle of a grocery store. Truthfully, she had no idea whatsoever how she was ever going to broach the subject at all. Finding Emma had been her first priority, and Regina knew better than anyone how single-minded she could be when she was determined.

"I'm Regina." Regina held out her hand to shake Emma's. Emma laughed and shifted Kate to her left arm so she could awkwardly shake Regina's hand with her right.

"Regina." Emma nodded in acknowledgement. "Again, thank you, but I've gotta go pick up my son, so I really have to run."

Regina felt her heart drop to her stomach.

Emma's son.

 _Henry_.

"Of course," Regina said, nodding while trying to conceal the defeat in her voice. Her mind was racing, trying to come up with _any_ reason to ask for Emma's phone number, or address, or even is she could tag along on the ride to pick up her son, but she couldn't think of a single thing that _didn't_ make her sound like a crazy stalker.

As Emma turned to walk away, Regina got the sudden idea to subtly follow her from the store and tail her to wherever she was going. Isn't that what Emma would do if the situations were reversed?

Before she could fully hash out a plan, Emma stopped suddenly and turned back, walking back over to where Regina still stood.

"Hey, um, not to be weird or anything, but… maybe Kate and I can buy you a cup of coffee sometime? As a thank you? We're kind of new to town and I don't really know anyone and-"

"Yes," Regina agreed immediately, smiling widely, before Emma could even finish. "Of course. I'd love that. I'm kind of new here, too."

"Great! Um, here, give me your number and I'll call you," Emma said, fishing her phone from her pocket and handing it to Regina. Regina stared at the lock screen for a moment before swiping to get to the contacts. The picture was a selfie of Emma, Henry and Kate, all huddled together with the Statue of Liberty in the background. Kate didn't look much younger than she did now, and Regina had to wonder how long they had actually stayed in New York City. Perhaps if they'd gotten back to Storybrooke even a year earlier, Regina could have easily found Emma at the address she'd sent her to in the first place.

And Henry. He looked the same, and yet so different. So much older, even though it was only a couple years, at most.

Regina forced herself not to stare too long before typing her number into Emma's contacts and passing the phone back to her.

"Maine?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow as she noted the area code on Regina's cell number.

Regina nodded. "Yes. That's where I'm from, originally."

"Small world," Emma said, shaking her head. "I was born in Maine. What are the odds?"

"Maybe fate brought us together?" Regina said, with a nonchalant shrug. Sure, fate had brought them together, if fate was hours upon hours of searching, multiple cross-country moves and a hell of a lot of sleepless nights.

"Maybe so," Emma laughed, "I'll call you soon."

Regina nodded again, smiling, as she watched them turn to leave again. Kate waved at her over Emma's shoulder, and Regina's heart fluttered as she waved back, swallowing back tears as she watched Emma leave with her little girl - again.

Fate hadn't brought them together. Kate had.

* * *

"I like that lady, Momma," Kate informed her, and Emma strapped her into her booster seat.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Emma asked with a wink.

"Uh huh."

"Did she, um, seem familiar to you at all, Katey? Like maybe you met her once before?" Emma asked.

Kate shook her head.

"Maybe it's just déjà vu," Emma said, shrugging. "Who knows? Anyway, let's go get your brother."

* * *

Regina forgot about her bread completely as she hurried back to her apartment. It was one of many she still had leased, across the country, ever grateful that the wealth she'd created for herself in Storybrooke had actually translated to real money in the outside world, as well.

She hurriedly began unpacking her suitcase - not that she travelled with much these days anyway, travelling from one pre-furnished rental unit to another - to distract herself from staring at her phone waiting for Emma to call. She figured she'd better unpack anyway, since she was not leaving Tallahassee without her children, and that was going to require figuring out a way to wake Emma up from her memory spell.

She wished she'd known how to reverse the spell herself, and she cursed her own impulsive penchant for casting spells she didn't know how to undo. In her old life, she'd never really been in the business of undoing spells anyway, and she hadn't really seen a reason to do so once magic was brought to Storybrooke.

But she was sure she'd figure out a way. She had taken a year of searching to even reach this point, she wouldn't give up no matter how long it took to either wake Emma up, or somehow convince her to return to Storybrooke and get Gold to wake her up. Maybe they could bond over Maine, Regina reasoned. Or find something else in common… perhaps Emma was feeling restless and just needed a road trip…

Regina was busy formulating ideas when her phone rang, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. The number was a New York City area code, and Regina answered it on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey," came Emma's voice through the other end, and Regina breathed a silent sigh of relief. If nothing else, she now had Emma's phone number. "This is Emma. Kate's mom… from the grocery store."

Regina shook her head, smiling. As if she could forget. "Yes, I remember. That was less than two hours ago."

"Right," Emma laughed. "Anyway, Kate has been talking about you pretty much non-stop since we left. She's really taken with you, it seems. She wants to do coffee sooner rather than later."

"Sooner works for me," Regina said, hoping she wasn't coming on too strongly. She didn't want to freak Emma out.

But Emma just laughed. "Okay. Well, Katey has school half days, just mornings, so… how's tomorrow afternoon?"

"Tomorrow afternoon is perfect," Regina said, forcing her voice to remain even, despite the fact that she was on the verge of breaking out in tears of pure excitement over the prospect of seeing her daughter again.

Of course, she realized, tomorrow afternoon would mean Henry would be in school, but she couldn't think of a good, non-creepy way of asking Emma to bring her teenage son along. She was already making up her mind that she would have to make a good impression and increase the chances of Emma actually wanting to see her again, and perhaps even invite her over, if she wanted to see Henry, as Emma spoke again.

"Great," Emma said. "There's a place downtown we like to go to. Kind of a hole in the wall, but they have the best coffee and these apple turnovers that Kate loves. I'll give you the address. Wanna meet us there at one?"

Regina agreed, and got the address from Emma before saying goodbye. She could have sworn she heard Henry's voice in the background as Emma was ending the call on her end, but she couldn't let herself linger on that right now.

 _One thing at a time_ , she reminded herself. Baby steps. Tomorrow, coffee with Emma and Kate, and then…. well, Regina knew the endgame, but it was the steps in between that would have to be worked out.

For now, she at least had the one thing she needed to keep her going: hope.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

* * *

Regina stood outside the entrance of the little cafe that Emma had directed her to, waiting to catch a glimpse of her bright yellow Bug approaching. She'd gotten there extra early, not really intentionally, but because she was too restless to wait at home any longer.

In true Emma Swan fashion, she arrived ten minutes late, but Regina didn't even care when she saw Kate's smiling face as she hopped out of the Bug. Her dark eyes sparkled as she ran up to greet Regina.

"Hi!" Kate said, flashing her toothy grin at Regina.

"Well, hello," Regina smiled back. "How lovely of you to join me. I was beginning to think I was being stood up."

Kate furrowed her brow and looked back at Emma in confusion. Emma laughed as she took Kate's hand to lead the trio inside. "She's just joking, Katey. Once Regina gets to know us, she'll learn that we're late for everything."

Regina felt her heart rate quicken at Emma's words, as they contained promise that this meeting would not just be a one-time thing.

"My brother hates being late," Kate pointed out.

"As do I," Regina agreed.

"Well, try getting anywhere on time with a stubborn four-year-old," Emma laughed, rolling her eyes as she pulled the door to the cafe open. Regina forced a tight smile as she followed her in, thinking about how she would give anything to be able to get to go anywhere with this particular four-year-old.

"I'm sure she's not stubborn," Regina said, with a wink to Kate. "Are you?"

"Nuh uh," Kate agreed, as she ran up to the counter. The lady working seemed to recognize her immediately and reached for an apple turnover before Kate could even ask.

"I thought you were new here?" Regina asked, eying Emma suspiciously.

"We are. New _ish_. Been here almost two months. But we also come _here_ nearly every day. The only place nearby I've found that has cinnamon for my hot cocoa."

"Do you wanna get a apple turnover?" Kate asked, as Regina approached the counter.

Regina looked down at the dessert which looked alarmingly similar to the one she'd made Emma over five years ago. "No, I think I'll pass."

"I love apples," Kate said, with a shrug. "Henry hates them."

"Henry's my son," Emma pointed out, and Regina simply nodded, when an idea struck her. She placed her coffee order, and turned back to Kate.

"You know, Kate, I can bake a pretty good apple pie. Maybe you and your family could come over to my place for dinner one evening?" Regina suggested, looking to Emma to see how this offer was received. She didn't want to risk pushing too far too soon, but she had also been waiting so long to get back to Henry and Kate and she didn't want to wait anymore.

"Can we Momma?" Kate asked, looking up excitedly at Emma.

"We'll see," Emma said, with a small, hesitant smile. "Come on, let's go show Regina our favourite booth."

Regina sighed as she followed Emma and Kate over to their booth. She'd really been hoping for a 'yes', but she supposed maybe it was too soon to make a suggestion like that. Afterall, in Emma's eyes, she was Kate's mother and protector, and Regina was essentially a stranger.

"We always sit right here," Kate announced, as they approached a booth near the back of the cafe, "so Momma can look at the pretty girl behind the counter."

"Kate!" Emma gasped, her face turning instantly crimson. She swallowed hard before looking back at Regina. "That's not true."

Regina's dark eyes flashed to the woman working behind the counter, and she had to admit the girl was cute. She looked about twenty five, with auburn hair pulled into a neat ponytail and a little dimple when she smiled.

"She is cute," Regina acknowledged, before taking a seat in the booth. She heard Emma exhale a sigh of relief and smiled to herself as the blonde slid onto the bench seat opposite her. Kate seemed to pause for a moment, deciding which seat to take, but ultimately chose to jump into the spot next to Emma, to Regina's dismay.

Of course she did. As far as she was concerned, _Emma_ was her mother.

Regina studied Emma as she fussed over getting Kate situated into her spot, realizing how little she actually knew about Emma. It had never occurred to her that Emma might be interested in women, and suddenly, Regina was wondering how much of their little cafe date was for Kate, and how much was because _Emma_ wanted to see her again.

"You okay?"

Regina's attention snapped back to reality, as she smiled at Emma again. "Yes, fine. So..." Regina started. She had a million questions she wanted to ask, she wanted to know _everything_ , but she also knew she didn't want to bombard Emma to the point of freaking her out. "You've been here two months? You lived in New York before that?"

Emma narrowed her eyes. "How did you know that?"

"The area code on your phone when you called me, dear," Regina replied. "I just assumed…"

Emma smiled and nodded. "Yeah. We lived in New York. Originally New York City, but it was just too busy. We needed a change. We moved upstate but that never felt right, either. Then, this summer, I had the crazy idea that we should pack up and head to Tallahassee, and the kids were onboard, so we went for it."

"Why Tallahassee?"

Emma blushed a little again, but her smile changed to a thoughtful one, like she was thinking of a fond memory. "We, um… Henry's dad-"

She was cut off when the auburn-haired barista approached the table with their coffees.

"Henry's dad told her to 'find Tallahassee'," Kate piped up, as Emma thanked the server.

"Oh," Regina said, with a small nod. She didn't really understand what that meant, but she supposed it didn't really matter, either. All that mattered was they were here, now.

"Right," Emma agreed. "What about you? You're new here too."

"Yes," Regina nodded, realizing she'd never thought to come up with a backstory for herself. "I, um, I've been moving around a fair bit in the last year. I just… do you ever feel like you're searching for something? Like there's something missing?"

Kate looked confused, but Emma nodded. "Like you're lost, yes," Emma added. "That's… I think that's why New York didn't feel right. I moved around a lot as a kid, and I didn't want that for my kids, but…"

"But you feel like there's something else out there that you're missing," Regina said, with a knowing look.

"Yeah," Emma replied. "Wow. I didn't really expect this deep of a conversation already."

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine," Emma insisted. "It's just… yeah."

"What are you two talking about?" Kate asked, looking between Emma and Regina like they were speaking another language.

"Nothing, honey," Emma said with a laugh. "We'll talk about something else."

Regina marvelled at how easy and natural it became to talk and laugh with Kate and Emma, as Kate rattled on about what she did at school that day. Then again, Regina was sure she could listen to Kate list off everything she'd eaten for breakfast in the past month, and she'd be just as enthralled, just for the mere fact that she was listening to her daughter talk.

Before she knew it, however, Emma was glancing at the clock, and Regina's heart dropped.

"Well, we should really get going," Emma said, and the words hit Regina like a knife to the chest.

"So soon?" Regina asked, hopefully, thinking _perhaps_ Emma was just worried she was keeping her from something important, and wanted to give her an out.

"Yeah, this was fun but my son will be home from school soon," Emma said with a small sigh. "And if this one misses her afternoon nap, well…"

"Okay," Regina agreed, reluctantly, as they all stood up from the booth. "Perhaps we could do this again, sometime?"

"Yeah, yeah of course," Emma said with a nod. "Definitely. I'll, uh, I'll call you and we can make plans or something."

Regina swallowed hard as she nodded, forcing herself to keep an even expression as she watched Emma walk away with Kate, _again_. It hurt every time, and it was all Regina could do to stop herself from running after them and telling Emma everything and insisting that they all go back to Storybrooke.

But that wasn't an option. Emma would think she was crazy and she would _never_ see her kids again.

She needed a better plan.

* * *

Regina paced her apartment, phone in her hand, debating making the call she was dreading.

She hadn't exactly left Storybrooke on good terms. The town was a mess - undoing the curse hadn't destroyed Storybrooke completely, but it had left the town in ruins and the citizens in shambles.

As much as the town still hated her, for the most part, she knew that they still relied on her leadership, and she only hoped that nothing had gone _too_ awry with Snow and Charming left in charge.

She made the call.

"Regina?" Snow's voice came, a mix of trepidation and relief. Regina hadn't called her in seven months, and had not answered any calls from her or anyone in Storybrooke in that time. What good would it do? There was nothing to report, anyway.

Until now.

"I found them."

She paused, allowing Snow a moment to collect herself at the revelation. "Regina, oh, are they okay? Are they coming home now?"

"They're okay, but Snow… I can't bring them back. They don't even know who I am. I need help."

"What do you need? A potion, to reverse the spell?" Snow suggested.

"Yes, exactly. I can't… I can't ask Gold and obviously I can't ask Blue, but…"

"But I can," Snow acknowledged. "Don't worry, Regina, I'll get it to you. Where are you now?"

Regina gave Snow her current address, and whatever details she had learned about Emma's life here in Tallahassee, and finally, with the promise to stop avoiding her phone calls, they said goodbye.

And now, all Regina had to do was wait.

* * *

As it turned out, waiting was _still_ not Regina's strong point. She made it a whole twenty four hours before she'd given up any hope that Emma would ever call her again. She wanted to cry or scream or roast something, but, in the end, she decided to make another phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Regina said, relieved when she heard Emma's voice again. "I, um, I was just calling because… I hope I'm not being too forward, but I would really like to invite you and your family over for dinner."

There was a small laugh on the other end of the line. "Yeah, I think we pretty much have to because you already put the idea in my kid's head," Emma replied, but she didn't sound upset or angry about it. "Like I said, she's taken with you."

Regina sighed in relief, smiling to herself. "How about this weekend? Saturday, perhaps?" she suggested.

"Yeah, uh, yeah, Saturday is good," Emma agreed.

Regina smiled as she hung up the phone, after giving Emma her address and deciding on a time. She hoped Blue could have the potion ready and Snow could have it shipped to her before the weekend, and they could all be home by Sunday.

After nearly five years, happiness was finally within her grasp, and she would stop at nothing to hold onto it this time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

* * *

Regina paced nervously in her apartment as she awaited Emma's arrival with Kate and Henry.

She'd spent all day making sure everything was perfect, and she'd gone out of her way to make all of Henry's favourite foods, in hopes that he would still love them all that maybe - just _maybe_ \- it might trigger a memory in him.

Snow had called the day before and said Blue was still working on figuring out how to reverse the spell, but that an ordinary memory potion wouldn't be enough.

" _Regina, she said it's not like you just wiped out Emma and Henry's memories with a simple spell. You used the same memory spell you did while casting the Dark Curse," Snow had explained. "And, well, we all know what it took to break that."_

" _Right. True love's kiss," Regina had replied, with a sigh. "But that's not going to work in a land without magic. I need a potion. Gold managed to bottle your true love, there's got to be a way_."

Snow had insisted that they would keep trying, but not before suggesting that Regina needed to find a way to get Emma to return to Storybrooke with her. Emma had broken the curse once, with Henry, and Snow was confident she could do it again. Regina was, too, but she wasn't quite as confident in her own ability to convince Emma to return to Storybrooke without a compelling reason, and 'you're under a spell and those are really my children' didn't seem like it would be all that effective.

Either way, they were on their way over soon, and in the meantime between now and figuring out a solution, Regina had only one goal in mind: to spend as much time with her children as possible. And that meant winning Emma's friendship.

Regina took one last cursory glance around her apartment. It was furnished nicely, but she still lamented how small it was compared to her home in Storybrooke. She hadn't really cared where she stayed while she'd been on the move around the country, but this was the first time she'd had someone over in all that time, and she was sure her place wasn't very impressive.

She frowned to herself as she smoothed out the tablecloth - again - and tried to remind herself that Emma wasn't the type to judge a person based on their home.

Before she could start fussing with the couch cushions - again - she heard a knock at the door. Where she was living now was on the second floor of a three storey building, without controlled entrance. She'd despised that fact when she'd moved in, but found it hadn't yet caused her to have to suffer any unwanted persons in the building. Since no other tenants ever stopped by her place, it was safe to assume it was Emma and the children at the door.

Regina greeted them with a warm, wide smile when she threw the door open. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of Henry. He'd grown more than a foot, and though he didn't appear to have begun to grow any facial hair yet, he had certainly grown up from the little boy she remembered into a gangly teenager, who looked very much like he'd like to be anyplace but here.

She tried not to let it show on her face how much it broke her heart.

"Hello Emma, Kate," Regina said, still smiling as her eyes danced over her daughter's face, and then back up to Henry. "And you must be Henry."

"Yeah," Henry said, with a disinterested shrug.

"Henry," Emma hissed, nudging him with her elbow as Regina ushered the little group inside.

Henry rolled his eyes and followed Kate inside- who was quickly taking in her surroundings with all the awe of a small child.

"Sorry about him," Emma said, shaking her head as she stepped into the apartment. "He's full of teenage angst these days."

"I'm not full of angst," Henry insisted. "I told you I wanted to go out with my friends and you made me come _here_."

"And I told _you_ that Saturday is family day so deal with it," Emma said, shooting Henry a look that shut him up immediately.

Regina heard him mutter something about 'this lady' not being family, either, but she forced herself to swallow back the heartache that his words caused, remembering that, to him, she was just some friend of his mother's, and that most teenage boys would prefer to be out with their friends than hanging out with family. Henry had never been the type to put family second, but he'd also been ten years old when Regina had last seen him, and living a whole different life.

"How about dinner?" Regina suggested, motioning toward the table. "I made lasagna and caesar salad and garlic bread, and apple pie for dessert."

Henry's demeanor seemed to brighten as he headed toward the table, and Regina had to guess he still loved all these foods, though he eyed her with a sort of suspicion she didn't quite understand.

"It smells _so_ good," Emma said, as she grabbed Kate under the armpits and lifted her into a chair before taking the seat beside her. Henry sat down across from Emma, and Regina smiled as she sat down beside her son, and across from her daughter.

"Cooking is one of my hobbies," Regina said, as she lifted the lid off of the casserole dish, revealing the steaming lasagna inside. "But I rarely have anyone to cook for these days."

"Well, if this tastes as good as it smells, that might just have to change," Emma said with a grin. Regina guessed she shouldn't be surprised how easy Emma was to win over with food, but she was still a little put-off by the look Henry shot his blonde mother. This was not the look of teenage angst. It was something else entirely, and it made Regina worry.

Still, the four managed to have a polite conversation once dinner was served onto plates. Most of it focused around Kate, which Regina didn't mind, as the little one rattled on about school and daily activities. Henry looked bored, but he also didn't appear eager to contribute anything to the conversation.

Finally, once Regina had served slices of homemade apple pie to everyone at the table, Henry decided to speak.

"So, uh, Regina…" he said, tentatively.

Regina bit her lip. At the very least, hearing her son call her by her first name was uncomfortable, but she couldn't let that show on her face, she knew. "Yes, Henry?"

"You, uh, you don't have any kids?"

Regina shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Oh, um, no."

"Why?"

"Henry!" Emma said, pointedly. "That's not the type of question you ask a woman."

"Why? It's a valid question." Henry insisted.

"I'm sorry," Emma said, looking back at Regina. "He's not usually so…"

"So what, Mom? I'm just asking a question!"

"Henry, can I see you in the hallway for a moment?" Emma said, already standing up. Henry rolled his eyes as he stood up, as well.

"Kate?" Henry said, looking at his sister who was making no effort to move from her place.

She seemed too focused on her pie to be aware of what was transpiring between her mother and brother, anyway.

"Kate's fine here," Emma said, motioning for Henry to follow her out into the hall. "Sorry, Regina, we'll be right back."

Regina nodded, though she was utterly confused as to what was going on between them.

"Henry doesn't like when Momma makes friends," Kate commented, once Emma had shut the door behind herself and Henry.

"Oh?" Regina asked, surprised. It seemed like an odd thing to bother her son.

Kate simply shrugged. "She had a friend in New York who came over a lot and then, one day, she didn't anymore. They don't talk about her around me, but they still talk about her sometimes."

Regina nodded, guessing that Emma had gotten herself into a relationship that didn't end well, and perhaps Henry was being overprotective. She hoped that's all it was.

* * *

"Mom, seriously, it was just a question," Henry said, the moment Emma shut the door.

"It's not something you ask a woman, alright, Henry? And that's not what I want to talk to you about, anyway."

"Then what?"

"Kid. What is going on? I know you didn't want to get dragged out to a stranger's house tonight, but I told you, you can go out with your friends after. There's no reason to be acting so rude when we're guests in our home. Is this about Vanessa?"

"No, it's not," Henry said, shaking his head. "And I don't think you should leave Katey in there with her, alone."

"Why? I'm right here, and I'm reasonably sure she's not a psychopath," Emma smirked.

"That's not funny. You seriously don't see it?"

"See what, Henry?"

" _Mom_! She looks _just_ like her!" Henry cried.

Emma closed her eyes for a moment. Sure, she'd noticed the resemblance, too, but it was impossible. "Henry," she said, calmly. "Regina is not Kate's birth mother."

"How can you be sure?"

"It was a closed adoption, Henry. The records are sealed; there's no way she found us."

"But Mom! You used to find people for a living. You know it's possible," Henry insisted.

"Yes, exactly, Henry. I did used to find people for a living, and I used every resource I had to search for Kate's birth mother when we needed her medical records, remember? If I couldn't find her, there's no way she found us. Dark hair and brown eyes are common, Henry. It's just a coincidence."

"Well, I still don't trust her," Henry said, after a long pause.

"Henry, you know I wouldn't put you or your sister in danger. And even if Kate's birth mother ever tried to come for her, she wouldn't have any legal right to her. She gave that up when she gave Kate up."

"Right," Henry nodded.

"Listen, kid, it's like a ten minute walk to Jeremy's from here. Why don't you just go out with your friends and don't worry about your sister, okay? I'll come and get you when we're done here."

"Fine," Henry sighed.

"Text me when you get there."

Emma gave Henry a quick kiss on the cheek before he walked away, and then turned to head back inside, where she found Kate, still at the table, just finishing the last of her pie.

"Where did Henry go?" Regina asked, looking concerned as Emma closed the door behind her.

"I sent him to go hang out with his friends," Emma said with a sigh. "No sense forcing him to hang out here when he's clearly miserable."

"Oh," Regina said, looking hurt.

"Hey, it's not your fault. He's fifteen. He doesn't want to hang out with his mom."

Regina nodded, trying not to take the words to heart, as she knew Emma was referring to herself, not Regina. "Is he walking? Is that safe?"

Emma smiled and rolled her eyes. "It's ten minutes, he'll be fine. He grew up in New York, remember? He's a smart kid, and he's gonna text me when he gets there."

"Can we stay for a while, Momma?" Kate asked, hopefully. "I still like hanging out with you."

"Can I get that in writing?" Emma laughed. "And we can stay until Regina kicks us out."

Regina smiled at Kate. "Well, lucky for you, then, I have the whole evening free," she said, before turning back to Emma. "Can I get you a coffee?"

"That would be great," Emma said with a grin. "But let me help you with these dishes first."

"Kate, I don't have any toys or anything, but there's a TV in the living room if you want to watch cartoons while we do these dishes," Regina offered. Kate grinned and hopped up from her seat, dashing into the other room without so much as a backwards glance.

Emma shook her head, smiling to herself as she started gathering up dishes. "We only have one TV, and with Henry and his friends around, Katey rarely gets control over it," Emma explained.

"He has lots of friends?" Regina asked.

Emma narrowed her eyes in confusion at the question. "Yeah, I guess. He's a likeable kid, despite how he was tonight. He's been making friends fairly easily since starting school here."

"Oh, I'm sure he is," Regina said, nodding.

Emma's phone beeped in her pocket, and she pulled it out to quickly read her text. "He made it to his friend's house, safe and sound," she reported. "This is a good area, you know. We actually don't live far from here."

"Oh?" Regina asked. She hadn't thought to ask where Emma lived, but she found herself relieved to know that it wasn't far.

"Only about a five minute drive. We could probably walk here," Emma replied, before cringing. "Sorry if that sounds presumptuous."

"No, no, it doesn't," Regina insisted.

"I don't make friends as easily as Henry and he says I need to be less closed off to people. I'm not really good at this," Emma admitted.

"Neither am I, I can assure you."

"And, um, I'm sorry about what Henry asked you at dinner," Emma said, tentatively.

"It's fine. It didn't bother me," Regina replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"It looked like it did."

"Let's talk about something else, shall we?" Regina said, her voice betraying her nerves.

Truthfully, she was worried about Emma's so-called superpower, and as such she was trying hard not to talk about herself too much, since that would only amount to telling lie after lie to cover up. She knew it was only a matter of time before Emma figured out she was lying.

"Like what?"

"Tell me more about Henry," Regina suggested, as she began washing the dishes in the sink, and handing them to Emma to dry.

Emma smiled. "Well, I had him when I was seventeen, but I think I'm doing well with him, all things considered. He's so smart, straight A's in school. All his friends are into sports and he pretends he is too, but he really likes reading and more recently, writing. Stories, fiction, that's his thing."

"Does he have a girlfriend?"

"Not that I know of, but I guess that's just a matter of time, right? Ugh, I don't even want to think about that! Why can't they just stay little?"

Regina smiled tightly, agreeing with Emma's sentiment fully. She'd already missed five years of Henry's life, and all of Kate's, and she would give anything for them to be little again, and have that time back.

"He's such a good brother, though," Emma continued. "He's Kate's knight in shining armour, I swear. When she grows up, I pity anyone who tries to break her heart, because they'll have Henry to deal with. And she adores him."

"That's good to hear," Regina said, with a genuine smile. When she'd discovered that she was pregnant with Kate, all she had wanted was for Kate and Henry to have a loving bond.

"You have siblings?" Emma asked.

Regina grimaced as she thought back to meeting her alleged estranged sister in the Enchanted Forest. Zelena had attempted to take everything from her then, before she'd banded together with the Charmings to defeat her, and send her back to Oz.

"No," Regina said, finally. "I'm an only child."

"Me too," Emma said, with a nod. "Well, actually, maybe I'm not. Who knows? Never met my parents. Maybe one or both of them had more kids."

Regina simply nodded, silently willing the Blue Fairy to hurry up with her potion, so that Emma could remember her parents and meet her new siblings.

"You said you're from Maine?" Regina asked, thinking back to their previous conversation. "Have you ever thought of going back there and looking for your birth parents?"

"Tried. It was a dead end."

"But-"

"No. It's been thirty three years. Trust me, they don't want to be found. And it's fine, you know? Because I've got my kids now and that's all the family I need."

"Just your kids? That's it? You don't want someone else, like a partner?"

Emma smirked. "Regina, are you hitting on me?"

"No!" Regina gasped. "I just… I…"

"I'm kidding," Emma said with a laugh. "And that's lucky for you, because anyone who so much as looks at me twice, has Henry to deal with. He's deemed himself my protector since… well, I think that's a story for another day."

"So you want to do this again?" Regina asked, hopefully, as she put the last dish away in the cupboard.

"Yeah, definitely," Emma nodded. "Maybe my place next time? I think Henry will be more himself in his own space, you know? Because he really is a good kid."

"I believe you," Regina said.

"And at my place, I can send the kids to bed and we can actually talk like regular adults," Emma said, grinning as she peeked around Regina.

Regina turned to see Kate standing there, grinning sheepishly.

"There was nothing good on TV," Kate explained, with a shrug, before turning to Regina. "When are you gonna come to our house? I can show you my bedroom. It's purple."

"Purple's a good colour," Regina acknowledged. "And I'll come over whenever your Momma says I can."

"What about Friday?" Kate suggested, excitedly.

"You have dance class on Friday," Emma reminded her.

"Uh huh! Regina you can come watch and then come over! We have pizza on Fridays!"

"Pizza's good," Regina said, turning to smile at Emma.

"We make it ourselves," Emma said.

"Even better."

Emma looked back and forth between Kate and Regina, and both seemed to be eagerly awaiting her decision. In that moment, she couldn't help but see just what Henry had been seeing - that Kate really did have a resemblance to Regina - but she quickly shook the thought from her head. It was a coincidence. It had to be.

"Okay, Regina can come for pizza on Friday," Emma finally said, to Kate, before looking back at Regina. "I can write down directions for the dance studio, if you want, or else you can just come over to my place first and ride with us."

"That's fine," Regina nodded.

"Alright, then it's a date," Emma said, grinning at Kate again. The girl hadn't taken so quickly to a stranger since Emma had introduced her to her last girlfriend, and it made her a little wary, but she forced herself to remember that not every woman was Vanessa, as she wrote down her address for Regina.

"So, I'll see you Friday," Regina said, as she looked at the paper in her hands once Emma had handed it to her.

"Yeah, and maybe we'll crack open the wine once this one's in bed," Emma said with a smile.

"Right, because I could always just walk home, if need be."

"Right. So Friday," Emma said, nodding slowly as she tried to think of something else to say, but found herself coming up with nothing. Finally, she sighed, and instead told Kate it was time to get going.

Regina felt her heart drop as she watched them leave again, and quickly grabbed her phone the moment they were gone.

"Snow, I'm seeing her again Friday," she said, the moment the other woman answered. "Please, you and Blue… you've got to come up with _something_. I can't take this. It's torture."

"I know, Regina, I know. I'm missing my daughter, too," Snow empathized.

"I know you are, I do, but you don't have to watch her walk away from you, not even knowing who you are. And Henry… oh God, it was all I could do to resist just hugging him and never letting go. But I'm just a _stranger_ to him."

"We'll get them back, Regina. Soon," Snow insisted.

"Soon," Regina repeated, before ending the call. But she didn't want them back _soon_. She wanted them back _now_. Five years was long enough to wait, and Blue was proving to be unreliable, as always.

Regina nodded to herself, as though she had just decided on an answer to a serious decision.

And really, she had.

"I'm going to to have to do this on my own."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

* * *

By Friday, the fairies were still no closer to developing any sort of memory potion, and Regina had all but given up on them entirely. Snow had urged her not to give up hope, and she'd assured her she wasn't. She'd insisted she'd figure this out on her own.

And when Friday rolled around, she headed over to Emma's. She'd had the address since Emma had been at her house for dinner, and she'd driven by a couple of times, simply because she'd had nothing better to do in the meantime, but now she was actually going to go inside. She was going to see her children again.

Compared to her own quiet, nearly empty apartment, Emma's house was a frenzy of noise and activity when Henry let her in. He eyed her suspiciously when she smiled at him a bit too long, so she turned her attention to the scene behind her: Kate running down the hall, one shoe on and one barefoot, chasing a German Shepherd who appeared to be only a few months old - already big, but not full grown - as Emma tore through backpacks and gym bags hanging on hooks near the entrance.

"That's Bruno," Henry said, nodding toward the dog.

"Bruno?" Regina repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, like from Cinderella? I wanted to call him Dopey, like the dwarf, but Mom said no. You're not allergic, are you? Mom was worried since she forgot to tell you about him."

"No, I'm not allergic."

"Good. We just got him a couple months ago. Mom said we could have a dog here, since we have a real house and all. An apartment in New York City isn't exactly ideal."

"No, I suppose not," Regina said, smiling at the fact that Henry was actually _talking_ to her.

It was short lived, however, as Emma cut them off by declaring "found it!" and holding up a pink ballet slipper that matched the one Kate already had on.

"Oh, Regina, hi," Emma said, smiling sheepishly as she handed the shoe to Kate to put on. "I didn't even realize you were here. Sorry about the maelstrom."

"It's fine."

And it really was fine. After so much chaos of travelling from place to place to place alone, she gladly welcomed this new kind of chaos. It wasn't long before they were in Emma's bug and heading to Kate's dance class, while Henry stayed home to work on homework.

"The moms here don't really like me," Emma commented, once Kate was out with her class and she and Regina were seated somewhat away from the rest of the mothers.

"Why not?"

"They're kind of their own little clique, I guess. I don't exactly fit in with them and they haven't been super welcoming. I'm trying really hard to start this new life here, you know? But it's still so lonely sometimes. I kind of thank my lucky stars that I ran into you that day at the grocery store."

"Well, I don't think you even know how much of a blessing meeting you and your family was for me. I really don't have anyone here at all."

"What a pair we make," Emma said, shaking her head. "You know, you haven't really told me much about yourself. I don't even know what you do."

"Oh, well I used to be in politics. I was the mayor of a small town for quite a while but now… I took a bit of a hiatus. I've been travelling around the country trying to find… myself."

Emma nodded. "I used to move around a lot. It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"It's really not," Regina agreed.

"I'm kind of hoping to put down roots here. My kids and I, we don't have any other family, so we're not tied down anywhere. Henry's dad and I, we'd planned to make a life in Tallahassee. Of course, he left me and I haven't seen him since before Henry was born - he doesn't even know Henry exists - but I figured that's no reason to give up that dream, right? The point was finding stability, after all."

Regina nodded, and wondered if there was a way to tell Emma that maybe her future wasn't here. But, it was too early to try to convince her to pack up her kids and haul them across the country with a stranger.

* * *

Dinner at Emma's was slightly more hectic than dinner at her own apartment had been, but Regina didn't mind. She'd made homemade pizzas with Henry before, when he was younger, but she'd forgotten just how messy it could be.

Still, she couldn't help but laugh when Henry smeared pizza sauce on Kate's nose, and Kate turned around and smeared a huge glob on Regina's cheek.

"Katey!" Emma gasped. "Stop that! Regina's a guest."

"It's alright," Regina insisted, wiping the sauce from her face with a paper towel and winking at Kate, who erupted into a fit of giggles. "Now, would you like me to help you with your pizza?"

"Yeah!" said Kate, with an emphatic nod. "I wanna make a face with the pepperonis!"

Regina got to work helping Kate line up the pepperoni into a big smile, not missing the way Emma smiled as she watched her. There was no doubt Emma was watching to see how this newcomer interacted with her children, as Regina knew she'd be doing the same in her position.

"There, how's that?"

"Perfect!" Kate declared, before turning to Emma. "Look mommy! It looks like you!"

"Oh, I have a cheese face and a pepperoni mouth, do I?"

Kate giggled again and nodded.

From the corner of her eye, Regina couldn't help but notice the way that Henry watched her interact with Kate. She knew him well enough to know something was bothering him, but she wasn't in a position to ask.

Regina felt her smile become forced, as it occurred to her that even though Emma was including her in these family moments, they were just that: _Emma's_ family moments. She wasn't a part of this family, no matter how much Kate seemed to adore her. Henry was wary of her and Emma was just being friendly.

Regina fell quiet during dinner, though no one really seemed to notice as Kate monopolized the conversation as she always seemed to naturally do. She chattered on about school and her little friends and everything else she could think of.

Every attempt Regina made to add a comment here or there was met by an eyeroll from Henry, or a quick look cast at his mother that Regina couldn't miss. He clearly didn't trust her, though she couldn't figure out _why_. Suddenly, she was grateful for the glass of wine Emma had given her with dinner, because she was sure she was going to need it.

* * *

"Sorry about Henry," Emma said, as she handed Regina another glass of wine before joining her on the couch. Kate had been put to bed after an evening of showing Regina every toy she owned, and Henry was up in his room playing a computer game, and she and Emma would finally have a chance to talk. "He's very protective… and a little suspicious."

"Suspicious of me? Why?"

Emma sighed and took a sip of her wine, clearly building up her nerve for some sort of revelation. "It's not your fault," she said, finally. "He's suspicious because… Kate's adopted. I'm sure you could easily see she looks nothing like me."

"I just assumed she looked like her father," Regina said, quickly, inwardly kicking herself for saying anything at all. Now would probably be the time for listening, she realized.

"Yeah, no. Well, maybe, actually. I don't know what her biological father looks like. I don't know anything about her parents at all, actually. They dropped her off at a hospital, one of those safe haven places. Completely anonymous."

"I see. So why does that make Henry suspicious of me? He doesn't think…"

"That Kate looks just like you? Yeah, he does. And, I mean, she does, but I explained to him that brown eyes and brown hair are common traits. It's not like you're the first woman I've seen that made me do a double take, or anything, but I tried my damnedest to find out who Katey's birth parents were, and I came up empty handed. And I do this for a living."

"I assure you, I would never just abandon a baby," Regina insisted.

"Yeah. I can kind tell when people are lying, you know?"

"Oh. And am I?"

Emma smiled. "No. Plus, I don't know if that's common practice, really… finding out who adopted your kid and then making friends with them."

"I suppose not. What would you do if Kate's mother showed up out of the blue one day."

"Kate's _birth-_ mother you mean. I'm her mother."

"Right, of course, that's what I meant."

Emma shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. I wouldn't let her see her, probably. She gave her up. I guess I'd just get her info and let Katey make that choice when she's old enough to know if she wants to meet her."

"You think she wouldn't?"

Emma shrugged again. "She knows she's adopted, but she's never asked about her biological parents. I never met mine either, you know? I grew up in the system. When I was a kid I thought I wanted to meet them, but now? Not so much."

"No?"

Emma let out a mirthless laugh, and held up her empty glass. "I think I'm just gonna grab the bottle. I wasn't expecting such deep conversation tonight."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, it's cool. I don't get much adult conversation these days anyway. I just think it requires a little more alcohol than I have in me right now."

Regina nodded and stared at the coffee table in front of her while Emma was gone, trying not to overthink Emma's assertion that she wouldn't let Kate's mother see her. She finished her wine just in time for Emma to return with not one, but two bottles, and promptly refill both of their glasses.

"Where were we?" Emma asked, as she sat back down again.

"You not wanting to meet your birth parents."

"Oh, right." Emma settled back against the cushions and took another sip of wine. "See, the thing is, I had Henry really young, right? And I was going to give him up, but I changed my mind. It was the best decision I ever made, really. And, I don't know, keeping him kind of changed the way I thought about my parents giving me up. I always thought one day they'd change their mind and come get me. Even as I got older, I thought I'd track them down and they'd be so happy to see me. Now I know, if they'd wanted me, they'd have kept me."

"Perhaps circumstances beyond their control prevented them from being able to keep you?" Regina suggested.

"Maybe. Either way, it doesn't matter now. I've got my kids and my own life and that's all that matters."

"What made you change your mind? About Henry, I mean?"

Emma narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to one side. "I, uh… huh. I don't really remember," she said, sounding surprised as she realized it. "Wow… that's so strange. I remember having him, but I can't seem to remember the moment I changed my mind. Maybe this wine's hitting me harder than I thought."

Regina smiled. "Maybe," she agreed, though she had a suspicion something else was going on. She'd thrown her false memory spell together so fast, and she realized there must be holes in the backstory she'd given Emma and Henry. She hadn't had time to fill everything in, as she'd essentially given Emma her own memories of raising Henry, and replaced herself with Emma in all of Henry's memories of his childhood.

But she'd never been in prison and she'd never given Henry up, and she realized now she must have glossed over some details, such as _why_ Emma changed her mind.

It occurred to her that perhaps she could use this. If she could find enough holes and make Emma start to question her own memories, perhaps she could put cracks in the spell, and it would break on its own. After all, Emma still had magic, even if she didn't remember.

So she kept her talking, asking her questions about New York, and before New York. Questions about when Henry was little. It wasn't exactly easy to listen to Emma retell cute stories that Regina knew were really _her_ memories, but still, from time to time there was a pause, a nervous laugh and another drink of wine, when a memory was seemingly forgotten.

As the night continued on, and both bottles of wine were gone, Regina found it harder and harder to keep listening to stories about Henry. It hurt her heart that she couldn't go hug him right now, and hear him call her 'Mom'. She needed to change the subject.

She thought back to dinner at her place, and something Kate had said. There was something she'd been dying to ask Emma about, and now seemed like the perfect opportunity.

"Um, the other night, Kate told me you had a friend in New York used to come over a lot. I assume she was…"

Emma nodded, though Regina didn't miss how her cheeks flushed a little. "My girlfriend, yes. Well, my ex-girlfriend now."

"What happened?"

Emma smiled and shook her head. "Well, I think that's more of a third date revelation."

"Oh," Regina breathed, surprised. "So you think there will be a third date?"

"There has to be a first date, first," Emma pointed out.

"Good point. Shall we set something up, then?"

Emma giggled, and for a moment Regina thought she was about to be shot down, but instead she replied with, "yeah, let's do that."

Once plans had been made to go out without any children the following week, Regina left Emma's and headed home - walking, since she'd had far too much wine to drive home safely, which meant she'd need to come back and get her car - and she replayed the last few moments over in her head.

On one hand, getting closer to Emma was the only way she could think of to convince her to come back to Storybrooke with her, where the curse could be broken more easily, Regina was sure. Even if she couldn't wake Emma up right away, she was sure she could wake up Henry - he had the heart of the truest believer, after all - and the rest would fall into place.

On the other hand, she knew that agreeing to date Emma when she knew who she was and Emma knew nothing would cause issues down the road. Emma wasn't going to take lightly to being deceived, no matter what the endgame was, and Regina knew she was going to have to play this very carefully, to make sure Emma didn't develop any sort of real feelings.

After all, once the spell was lifted and Emma remembered everything, there wouldn't be a chance for them... would there?

Regina shook that question from her mind. It didn't matter because Emma would be livid, but she was sure Emma would come around and forgive her, eventually. She knew Emma wouldn't want to be separated from her family forever, and she'd never want that for her children. She'd have to understand that Regina was only doing what she had to do.


End file.
